Friday, 13 August 2010

State of mind.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty pissed off.
This was due to the cumulative effect of a number of little things (mostly self-inflicted):
I had a little too much to drink last night, not enough to induce a hangover, but just enough that I didn't feel my usual bright and breezy self this morning,
I got a letter containing a thinly veiled threat from my ex husband solicitor yesterday,
I realised today was the end of my, admittedly long, summer holidays,
And also there were a number of jobs I had been determined to tackle over the summer that still remain untouched.
All of these things and others too trivial to mention, combined to subdue my mood.
So I wasn't really feeling up to my usual Friday morning visit to the gym.
However, I forced myself out of bed and down to the leisure centre.
15 minutes on the exercise bike, 5km run (27m 30s), 10 mins on the stepper, and finally 10 mins of weights and stretches = completely knackered and pouring with sweat!
Not a pretty sight!
But the end result was worth it, my mood has completely changed. I came home, phoned my solicitor, showered, chatted to the kids and had a coffee and a banana and now I'm full of beans (well banana and coffee actually) and ready to attack some of those unfinished jobs.
And best of all, 2lbs lighter on the scales than last Friday!

11 comments:

Andrew Scott said...

My boy Dave went down to the Leisure Centre too this morning, with the website which we consulted last night having assured him the Training Pool opens quite early, only to be sent away still dry because it opens at 11 today. They blithely told him "We vary the times but don't update the website". Shocking. He did say the gym was open but there was no talent in there just a sweaty and rather desperate looking old woman so he came home... Good luck with the solicitors. Given them hell.

Ruth said...

Thats very unusual for the pool not to be open. I think it normally opens about 7am. It may have been staff trainning today.
He is almost right about the gym, there were actually several sweaty people there, but none of us quite desperate yet ;-)
Although my solicitor is a decent bloke I hate paying him money for something that should have been sorted in civilised way without resorting to that!

Claude said...

Echoing Andrew: Give them hell. Both sides. One is there to screw you. The other one should fight for you. You nearly have to light their bums with a match to get them moving in the right direction. Been there. I was ever so grateful to my brother who (in my youth) had asked me to count the number of words required for his thesis in Civil Law. I had learned enough to know what was rightly mine and my sons. The word ours had lost its meaning. I didn't divide by two, but by four. Three for my side, one for his. Bonne chance!

Ruth said...

Sadly under Scots law I am entitled to half the matrimonial assets i.e. the house or what ever equity is in it, and 20% of his salary as support for the boys until they are 18 or leave home whichever is earlier. Nothing else!

Claude said...

Ah! Ruth. You have a long haul ahead. Scots law should be more generous to children of divorced parents.

I married in Quebec. And we use the Code Napoleon. I gave up the house (too much for me to keep up on a nurse's salary). I got substantial cash for a down payment on a condo. And all education fees (including music, swimming, martial arts etc.) paid for the boys (then 13 and 14) till age 22. That meant the first university degree. The judge was adamant about that. He asked me, "You can feed and house your boys, can you?" I answered, " Yes! Sir. And clothe them!" He said, "Then, send them to school and give them extra skills. The father will pay." It was a bit tight, at times, but we managed. The boys got part-time jobs, for pocket money. Kevin loved playing trumpet at weddings, and in bars. Not so much in churches!!!! Poor Martin did some telemarketing by phone. Actually, it taught him not to fall for any salesman's pitch, later on in life.

I'm sure you and your sons will do well, Ruth. You have the grit. My thoughts are with you.

Andrew Scott said...

Surely a big slice of his pension fund too Ruth? At least according to my pal who lost almost all of his pension that way (albeit in a complex arrangement)... Seems like I am "batting for the other side" in this one, having endured several of my man pals moaning about how the law shafted them, but I'm batting for the right side here, I think.

Ruth said...

Well Andrew, technically no, as BOTH pensions are considered matrimonial assets after the length of time we were married. So as my pension pot is smaller than his, I would get a small slice of his but I swapped that for a slightly larger share of the house in order to avoid disrupting the kids any further. Without going into details unfortuately it seems now that my dear husband used his abilities as an accountant to full personal effect in the stage when he knew what he was up to and I didn't.
Claude - my oldest son's education is what the battle is about as his father is refusing to pay his final year school fees saying it will "do him good" to leave after next year when he is 17!

Claude said...

It's never really a question of money...how much...when...for how long...The problem is having to fight to get what is due, what is necessary for the well-being and the comfort of one's children. The pain is that it's not coming from the father's heart, generously, spontaneously. And that it's given as a dole out charity or an excessive, undeserved request.

That's the woman's, mother's side of the story.

Claude said...

Ruth - I wrote my last comment not having read yours. But it fits in well with what you're going through presently. I pray that the law will favour your son. I know you will give him an education, no matter what. But it means so much for a child that his father also cares and provides.

CherryPie said...

Good luck with the solicitors and sorting things out. Your ex should really be thinking of his kids before himself.

As to the exercise and the weight loss, well done :-) I have still be lazy on the exercise front!

Ruth said...

Thanks everyone for your support. It will all sort itself out in the end.
Claude - I think you can read my mind ;-)